Well, it has been over a year now since I have posted. Some things have changed, but mostly I am the same. Still sober and in school. My recovery hit a point last year when all I could think about what was how I was an addict. It become my predominate personality trait and I couldn't see myself as anything other than that. Obviously not a very good way of living your life. Living in the past that is. I eventually relapsed because of my poor self image and the feeling of not being able to move on from my addiction. After that I wanted to move forward and to do that I had to leave the wonderful people that I met through this journal. I hope you are all doing wonderful and are still sober and happy.

In December, I turned 21. A milestone for normal people, a regular birthday for me. However, any birthday is a blessing. I was actually talking to an old friend and he said to me, "Who would have thought we would make it to 21? I always thought we would be dead by now". The scary part is...I thought that too. I never planned to make it to 21. But I am glad that I have. Since I stopped journaling, my life has become...well a life. No, every day is not terrific. But I no longer expect it to. I have accepted life for what it is. And I have learned that you have to move forward. Yes, I did some horrible things in the past. Things that are still hurting people today. But I am human and I am still developing. I hope I continue to develop and evolve.

Just for today, I will try to only do one thing.



*deep breathes*